


strawberries and cigarettes

by nicojqckson



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 2jin - Freeform, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Gay, Girl x Girl, Heejin - Freeform, Loona - Freeform, Smoking, hyunjin, idk how to tag, it’s gonna be multiple chapters but idk how to tell this website that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 19:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29477028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicojqckson/pseuds/nicojqckson
Summary: a story in which two girls, both ready to give up, find comfort in strawberry flavored candy, cigarettes, and each other.inspired by strawberries and cigarettes by troye sivan.listen to this playlist while reading:https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1scuOMZ14kEkZ55xeINyfi?si=wAOCkHSnSiCv77zF0xbceQ
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	1. chapter one

kim hyunjin quickly tied the laces on her faded black converse. she didn't know where she was going, but she knew she couldn't listen to the arguing anymore. she checked her phone, and realized it was already two am. she grabbed her jacket off the hook in the hallway, double checking that the small red and white box was still nestled in the pocket, and quickly ran out the door. as soon as she reached the end of her street, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a cigarette from the little box. 

shit, only a few left, she thought, as she pushed the little tube in between her lips. as soon as she lit it, she felt the familiar warm comfort wash over her. if nothing else could make her feel okay, a cigarette always helped. when she first started smoking, about a year back, when things between her parents had gotten bad again, she hated the taste. she had only started because it seemed like something her dad enjoyed. over the months though, she had grown fond of the taste. maybe not so much the flavor itself, but the feeling that came with it. the smoke smelled like home, and it made her feel oddly nostalgic. but best of all, it made hyunjin feel warm. the cigarettes became an odd sort of comfort object for the girl, something like a child's teddy bear or a baby's blanket. she wasn't so much addicted to the nicotine as she was the warmth. or maybe it was both, hyunjin couldn't quite tell. as she neared the end of this cigarette, she extinguished it under her foot, realizing she was almost at the park. whenever she needed to think, or be alone, or anything, really, hyunjin went to the park. she would always sit on the swings. she liked feeling like she was flying. she also liked feeling like she was five again, when everything was okay and her parents didn't fight and she didn't even know what a cigarette was. but when she approached the familiar scene, she noticed something out of place. sitting on the swing was a girl. she looked to be about the same age as hyunjin, only smaller. she didn't recognize her from school. honestly, hyunjin didn't pay enough attention in school for her to be able to recognize most people. she wasn't sure wether to feel annoyed or excited. on one hand, she kind of wanted to be alone right now. but on the other, she kind of craved comfortable conversation. and on top of that, this girl was kind of pretty. hyunjin approached the girl, clearing her throat to try and get her attention. 

the girl spoke, her voice was deep and timid. 'hi,' she said. hyunjin sat down next to her, sticking another cigarette between her lips and lighting it. she noticed the girl looking up at her, eyes wide. 

'hey, i'm hyunjin,' she said, as she offered one to the smaller girl. illuminated by only the moons glow, she looked hesitant. she stuck it in her mouth, mirroring hyunjin. 

'light it for me?' she said, a hint of uncertainty in her deep voice. hyunjin pulled her red lighter back out of her pocket, and lit the girls cigarette for her. the smaller girl coughed a little at first, trying to get used to the new sensation. 

'you've seriously never smoked before?' hyunjin asked, marvelling at the girls innocence. the girl shook her head, looking up at hyunjin with bright eyes.

'it doesn't taste very good,' she announced, taking the cigarette out of her mouth and putting it in between hyunjin's lips instead. hyunjin blinked twice, taken a back a little from the action. the cigarette tasted faintly of strawberry chapstick. she liked the taste. from her pocket, the smaller girl pulled out a pack of gum. she took two pieces out, putting one in her own mouth and offering the other to a still smoking hyunjin. hyunjin accepted, extinguishing both cigarettes. she chewed the gum. normally, she hated fruit flavors. but something about strawberries had changed her mind tonight. she joined the smaller girl in strawberry scented silence. 'i'm heejin, by the way,' the smaller girl said. heejin. hyunjin thought that was a pretty name.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the adventure begins

the two girls, surrounded by a strawberry-scented smokey haze, got to know each other on the weathered swing set. 

‘dunno, just wanted to get out i guess.’ heejin responded, after hyunjin had asked why she was out so late. ‘what about you?’ she questioned. 

‘didn’t want to listen to my parents any longer, i guess. plus i wanted to smoke,’ hyunjin responded, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

‘oh, i’m sorry,’ heejin said, glancing over to the other girl.

‘don’t be. it’s not like it’s your fault or anything.’ hyunjin responded. suddenly, under the gentle glow of the stars, hyunjin watched as a hand extended out towards her. gingerly, she grasped the hand in her own. she couldn’t remember the last time she had held someone’s hand. she couldn’t remember the last time she had had someone touch her. she reveled in the feeling. she felt a fluttering of wings in her stomach, and a heat turn her cheeks a rosy hue. she was thankful that it was so dark, so that heejin couldn’t see her blush.

‘i know. still sucks, though,’ she said, gently squeezing the other girl’s hand. for the first time in a long time, hyunjin felt comfort in something besides nicotine. it was a nice feeling. she didn’t want to let it go. she wanted to be next to this girl, surrounded by strawberries and warmth forever.

‘you really don’t have a reason for coming out here tonight?’ hyunjin questioned, trying to keep a conversation going with the smaller girl so she wouldn’t leave. 

‘honestly, i just wanted to do something. i think maybe i care too much about arbitrary things and get so swept up in the nothingness i forget i’m allowed to live. like, i can literally go do anything. i haven’t done anything. so i guess i just wanted to maybe feel something different for once?’ she replied, looking down at her shoes and tightening her grip on hyunjin’s hand.

hyunjin loved the way she talked. she liked the words she used. she liked how smart she sounded, without sounding arrogant. ‘mm, i get that,’ hyunjin responded, locking eyes with the girl, ‘i feel like that too sometimes. like i’m kinda drowning in all my potential and so caught up in stupid shit that i just sit alone all day, every day.’   
hyunjin felt gentle circles on the back of her hand as heejin began to play with her hand. ‘do you… wanna do something then?’ heejin asked softly, releasing hyunjin’s hand and pushing herself up off the swing.

as much as hyunjin missed the feeling of fingers interlocked with her own, she felt her lips pull up into a smile as familiar butterflies form in her stomach. she barely knew anything more than this girl’s name, and yet she was down to blindly follow her wherever she lead. ‘sure, what do you have in mind?’ she asked, following heejin off the swing. 

heejin didn’t answer, instead reaching behind her to grab the taller girl’s hand, pulling her along beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short!! i just wanted to upload something for today :) let me know if there's anything you guys want to see, or if you like it!! hope u all r doing well, talk to me if ur not, i'm always here.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which hyunjin realizes how nice it is to have fingers interlocked with her own.

‘jeon heejin. where the hell are you taking me?’ hyunjin asked, as heejin hurriedly pulled her through various streets that hyunjin didn’t recognize.

‘you’ll see hyunjin. now shut up and walk faster.’ heejin answered, squeezing her hand a little. for some reason, hyunjin felt butterflies form in her stomach. she did as she was told, she didn’t talk. instead, she looked at the girl that was dragging her along. really, actually, looked at her for the first time. she had long, dark brown hair, that flowed down to her waist. she had this determined look on her face, hyunjin thought it was cute. most of all, hyunjin liked the girl’s eyes. big and sparkly, it looked as though she had managed to capture the light from the stars that shone above them. noticing she was zoning out, hyunjin quickly shook her head, in an effort to break herself out of her haze.

‘what?’ heejin questioned, stopping momentarily and looking up at the taller girl.

‘nothing,’ hyunjin replied, thankful, once again, for darkness of the night. 

‘you’re weeeeiiirrd,’ heejin replied, drawing out the vowels. hyunjin laughed.

~~

‘wait here,’ heejin announced, as she stopped hyunjin in front of a big yellow house. hyunjin nodded, taking in the scenery as the other girl went around to the backyard. she hadn’t quite noticed before, seeing as it was quite dark and well, hyunjin was a bit preoccupied looking at other things, (definitely not heejin. definitely not heejin’s lips,) but they were in a pretty nice neighborhood. actually, nice was an understatement. all the houses looked like they could fit at least three of hyunjin’s inside of them. they all had white picket fences, and well-kept lawn’s. the house they were standing in front of, which she presumed to be heejin’s, had a little red mail box and matching little red shutters. wow, hyunjin thought. she wasn’t sure if she had ever been somewhere so nice. suddenly, movement in front of her drew her out of her stupor. it was heejin, with a big bottle of god knows what under her sweatshirt.

‘you drink?’ she asked, somewhat taken aback that the girl who didn’t know how to light a cigarette even knew what alcohol was.

‘only when there’s an occasion,’ heejin replied, firmly grasping hyunjin’s hand again. nobody ever really held her hand. her parents had given up on that after she could walk by herself, and her few friends weren’t quite the affectionate type. sure, hyunjin had had quite a few hook-ups in her time, but none of them really resulted in hand holding… she quickly realized it was a feeling she liked. ‘follow me,’ the shorter girl said, leading hyunjin to some far away place again. hyunjin didn’t ask where this time, being with her was enough. 

~~

heejin finally stopped the pair, on the edge of a dock hyunjin had never seen before. she didn’t even know there was an actual body of water in her town.

‘okay, we’re here,’ heejin said, dropping hyunjin’s hand and sitting on the brim of the dock, legs dangling off the edge over the sparkling water. it was really really pretty. (heejin, and the water.) the moon reflected in the deep blue lake, and the water was still and clear. (and heejin in the moonlight was a sight to behold.) hyunjin quickly joined the smaller girl on the edge of the dock. 

‘vodka?? you drink vodka??’ hyunjin asked, stifling a laugh.

‘what? you don’t peg me for the vodka type?’ heejin asked, removing the cap from the bottle. she hadn’t known her very long, (like, maybe an hour…) but heejin looked like a big teddy bear. and from how she had described herself, she seemed like a big teddy bear too.

‘i didn’t know smart girls like you liked hard liquor,’ she quipped back. even in the faint moonlight, hyunjin noticed the pink hue forming on the smaller girls face. instead of a response, heejin drank from the bottle, coughing slightly after chugging for a second or two. alcohol dripped down her chin, and, without thinking, hyunjin swiped her thumb across the liquid, wiping heejin’s chin. quickly, she grabbed the bottled from the girl and drank. hyunjin was no stranger to liquor. if cigarettes made her feel warm, alcohol made her feel like she was on fire. and, even better then that, it made her feel floaty. she liked feeling floaty. she liked it a lot.

the sat in silence for a little while, more and more giggles escaping their lips as they got tipsy, and then drunk, and then drunker. eventually, they were lying down, a half empty bottle of vodka discarded behind their heads, staring at the stars. heejin’s hand had found hyunjin’s again, although this time clasped much more haphazardly, as she was more literally holding her hand, all of heejin’s small fingers clasped around three of hyunjin’s. 

suddenly, the smaller girl rolled onto her side, with hyunjin quickly following suit.

‘hehe, you’re pretty,’ she said, reaching out and poking her face with her free hand.

‘and you’re drunkkkk,’ hyunjin responded, reaching out and poking heejin’s face in response.

‘so what,’ she slurred, ‘you’re still prettyyyy. i like your face,’ she slurred again, pushing hyunjin on to her back to nuzzle her head into her chest. hyunjin stiffened at first at the sudden contact, not sure what to do at first. slowly, she realized into the touch, bringing her hand up to gently stroke the drunker girl’s hair. hyunjin wasn’t a light-weight, but she certainly wasn’t sober. which certainly helped the situation, as a sober hyunjin would’ve immediately shut out any signs of affection. they laid like that for a while, heejin mumbling incoherent compliments into hyunjin’s sweater every so often, and hyunjin responding by patting the girl’s head. slowly, the dark started to lift, as dawn approached. as much as hyunjin wanted nothing more than to sink deeper and deeper into this moment, she knew she would be killed if she stumbled home, half-drunk, after the sun had risen. 

‘heejin, we have to go. come on, i’ll walk you home,’ hyunjin urged, attempting to get up.

‘noooooooo,’ heejin responded, further latching on to the taller girl.

‘heejin, i’m serious,’ hyunjin responded, pulling the girl up with her, and grabbing the bottle of vodka with her other hand. the smaller girl immediately latched onto her waist, nestling her head underneath hyunjin’s arm. the taller girl just laughed, trying her best to remember the path she had been lead on from the expensive neighborhood.

~~

‘heejin, you have to let go now. i really have to get home.’ hyunjin sighed, trying to detach the other girl from her.

‘but you smell nice. like bread. i like bread. wow i want bread,’ heejin exclaimed, suddenly perking up at her newfound desire.

hyunjin did her best to direct her to her backyard, back into her expensive home. she watched through the back window as the girl sloppily climbed the staircase, presumably up to her own room. hyunjin just laughed, pulling out her phone to guide her back to her house. she reached into her pocket, pulling out her last cigarette, and lighting it. she felt the familiar feeling wash over her, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. it was like something was missing. or, maybe, someone. as hyunjin crawled into her own twin-size bed, she realized something was missing. her hand felt so empty without heejin’s in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh finally a (slightly) longer chapter!! PLS comment if there's anything u wanna see or anything u like lol :)) also i may be going kinda off plot or something bc i don't reallyyyy have a plan and i'm just kinda writing what i need to... hope you all are well and i love each and every one of you so much


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